the new about me

I finally updated my About page...


Hi. My name is Antonia. I'm 20 years old. And I'm from Austria.

That's the very short version of who I am. The long version is too long for this page, it would take a while to tell you everything. But I can tell you some parts and things about me. Take a cup of tea (yes, you can also take coffee, that's fine too...) and here...have a cupcake. And while you're chewing, listen...

I grew up in a small town in the south-eastern parts of Austria. Austria that's the very small country (about the size of Maine) in Europe, the one with Mozart, Sissi, The Sound of Music, Schwarzenegger, big mountains and dirndl dresses. Just to put in all the clichés. I would describe Austria more like the country where people manage to be grumpy and friendly at the same time, but in general more grumpy than friendly.
As for the south-eastern part, there are no mountains and no dirndl dresses and it's also not the region of Mozart, Sissi and Sound of Music. But who cares.

When I was 17 I started this blog, because I wanted to and to improve my English language skills. I don't like to go back and read old blog posts. It's impossible to read them without cringing. Improving your language skills? Done.

After finishing school in 2010 I moved to Vienna to study several things at university without any success. I had no idea what to do after school so I thought studying at university would be the best. It wasn't.
I loved Vienna, I hated university and everything else. I fell into depression and I didn't see a way out.
Actually I fell into depression way before I started university. I don't know when it started, maybe around the age of 16. I don't know.
I went to see some psychotherapists, but it didn't help at all.

In December 2011 I pretty much decided that live isn't worth living anymore and I started some kind of self destruction. I stopped taking my meds and didn't care about anything. Somewhere in my room in my parents house there's still this sheet of paper with instructions for my parents in case of me dying. I should probably throw it away, or keep it as a memory.

I didn't die, as you can see. A friend rescued me. Lena is without doubt the best friend one can have. She's the only one I told everything about how I'm doing. She was concerned and called my psychotherapist. Two days later my Dad brought me to psychiatric hospital where I spent nine weeks.

Probably the most interesting nine weeks of my life. Within this weeks I found some new friends, met some interesting people, fell in love, started my first relationship, laughed a lot, quit university, moved from Vienna to Graz, and learned a lot about myself and how to enjoy life again.

I live in Graz now. I share an apartment with a girl my boyfriend introduced to me. Her name is Laura and she's British (but raised in Austria), which pretty much says everything about how awesome she is.
I currently spend most of the time with job hunting. It sucks, but I do want to get a job and for the first time in my life I'm convinced that I can actually do it.

That's it. That's the story of my life. Not the full version, of course.
I currently don't really blog text posts. I try to get into it again, but for now I just throw in some pictures I take. Daily life stuff.
Enjoy.